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 Marriage was instituted in Eden which was an open portal where God could come and fellowship. It is God's desire that every marriage have an open portal of divine connection. Sometimes we have an unrealistic vision of what a perfect Christian marriage should look like that we put an unwholesome burden on our partner. But the very first thing we often miss is that marriage was not established just for the two people in the marriage. 


Scripture references: Genesis 2:18-25

Until we locate a vision for marriage that is far greater than the marriage itself, it may become a successful Christian marriage.

We are naturally self-focused and so it can become all about “me” and how successful I want to become IN my marriage. But we need to embrace the wisdom of God in our marriage which begins with God himself.

The starting point of a successful kingdom marriage is to determine what kingdom vision is driving us in the marriage? When this becomes the focus, everything that can happen in the earthly realm e.g. challenges and setbacks will pale in comparison. If we don’t embrace this wisdom, we can put a burden on ourselves.

Amos 3:3; Marriage is a covenant relationship. God is the primary covenanter and principal witness. He is faithful and impartial.

Many Christians are trapped in marriage because we don’t use our mental faculties to think, assess and analyse our spouse. God wants us to think carefully and consciously, and reason together. Men have the responsibility for initiating the thinking/reasoning process and women have the grace to be responsive. If a marriage is to be successful, both parties must learn how to think together. Success is inevitable when both are aligned in their thinking, perspectives, vision and understanding of God’s leading. 

Be ready to change - two shall become one flesh. Marriage is not about looking for someone to complete you – they can’t! If you are not already complete in God before going into marriage, you will make the life of your spouse miserable. God’s mathematics is 1+1=1! Change is required in marriage to create a harmony that is in alignment with God. Our cultural background doesn’t matter as it is irrelevant to Biblical culture. We become one to grow in a new culture which is scriptural culture. 

Vision for a successful marriage will demand a re-definition of what success means.Success is not about wealth or acquiring material things. Success means being able to be more open & honest with one another (they were naked and not ashamed). God’s perspective of a successful marriage is different from the world’s view of it. A marriage that has material success is not necessarily a successful marriage. Measure your success first by how intimately interwoven you are becoming in terms of honesty and openness. Secondly measure success in terms of faithfulness to one another and then, perseverance with one another.

If we don’t create a mission and vision for our marriage and future, we limit hopes and aspirations. There is no age limit to when we can catch a vision in God.

Thinking and humility are so important. There are certain things that will not go away with time if they are not dealt with. It is important to sit down and think together about why some things may not be working and how best to tackle the issue. The worst thing that can happen in marriage is broken communication. Don’t allow yourselves to get to the point of indifference, or where you cannot sit and think together. This is where problems begin. A lot of the responsibility for this lies on men because the husband’s ability will determine the responsiveness of the wife. The husband will not get the best from his wife until he demonstrates responsibility towards her in various ways. 

Pray to God for a vision for your marriage. This will bring clarity and direction. Clarity is what puts passion into your marriage. This passion will help keep you pure. This results in unity. And where there is unity, there is victory at all times.